The smoke clears...

Ahhhh... I think we've turned a corner and ahead of us is a life blessed with a child. I am now at a point where I can finally consider Abigail a child. A small but distinct difference in my mind, from a baby. For months, while pregnant, you say: "We're having a baby". Shortly after giving birth you say: "We just had a baby". Now, as we look towards 4 months, I really begin to see that Abigail isn't just our baby, she's our child and Pete and I are her parents. Some of you are probably reading this thinking: "What did they expect? Didn't they realize that this is what it's all about?" And the honest answer is NO. I still stumble over myself when I call the Pediatrician and announce who I am followed up with: "Abigail's mom". Holy Cow!! I am Abigail's MOM!!! It's sort of the same feeling I had on my honeymoon when I was addressed as "Mrs. K----". I think I've once again lost some sense of identity. As I realize that while I am losing a small part of my identity, I am gaining a role of responsibility--one I welcome with open arms eager to play. Abigail makes it easy. When I walk into the room, her face lights up and she breaks out the best toothless grin. She smiles easily and giggles at my comedic antics. I relish in trying to make her laugh and don't worry about how silly I know I look and sound in the process...the girl LOVES it.

We are finally settling into a schedule with 3 daytime naps. The downside is that it doesn't leave much time to go out and run errands...so we will be working on tweaking the schedule into 2 daytime naps with the longer one being in the afternoon. Now that I have our WONDERFUL nanny on board 2 days a week--I've convinced her that it isn't good, anymore, to hold Abigail during her naptime and to please support our efforts in following the plan...thankfully she understands and is on the same page as us. It also helps in me not feeling inadequate that I don't always have the time nor patience to hold and entertain her all day...I constantly remind myself that is why we hired her...to give her undivided attention... something I am short of when home with her.

I've also been dating. Yup, mommy dating. I've been making an effort to meet other moms with children in the same age group as Abigail. So, i've had a few Mommy dates so far and all seems ok. It's funny though to be dating all over again with some of the same anxieties cropping up--does she like me? Will she call/email for another play (Mommy) date? It's amazing how life comes full circle like that. It's even more amazing that even with Mommy dating, you meet some real losers out there...but that's a whole other post.

Abigail's first Thanksgiving was fairly uneventful, even anti-climatic. I suppose that is what happens when you are not the first (and more like the 6th) grandchild. Everyone is happy to see you, but it's a "been there, done that" aura with not too much attention given. That is ok--the last thing we need is an overstimulated child at a noisy family function...and she faired very well with even going down to sleep in the pack n play at my sister's house.

Here are some new pics for your viewing pleasure--see how she's grown!